| The patient is a 30-year-old mother of three daughters. 27 February 2012: "I have pains that I shouldn't have at my age. There is no reason; I'm as healthy as a horse. I have joint pains, especially in the knees and wrists, sometimes also in my hands when I work. I get tendinitis(1) and fluid in my lungs when I work with the pigs. I get breathlessness and palpitations. I withdraw to another room so that no one sees. One day a bright red line appeared on my forehead. Then the joint pains began. During pregnancy I had knee problems and lower back pain. I had to crawl up the stairs because I couldn't walk. That's not normal. Recently I only have mild joint pains, but my stomach has worsened. For a year I've had irregular bowel movements. Sometimes I have difficulty getting through the day. I get angry more than necessary and have to make an effort to respond properly. I don't want my children to have to remember later that their mum shouted at them. As the day draws to a close I feel under pressure. That's 'my time', and it makes me angry when it keeps getting pushed back. If my instructions aren't followed I get cross. When my husband comes home early the children get it; I then put them right. He thinks I have nothing to do all day. I don't want him to think I'm lazy. As just a housewife I feel like a sponge. I make sure I do the things my husband considers important. When he is tense, I am tense. When he gets upset, I think I've done something wrong. Then I feel stupid and worthless. I hate feeling stupid. It's like a shutting down; as if something physically rises in my throat. I tremble and burst into tears or shout at him, which he hates. My stomach feels sick. Either the pressure then bursts out, or he has a fit of anger. Our fights are getting increasingly intense. Once I got really nasty during an argument. Arguments make all my complaints worse. I hate it when he goes away. We argue a lot about our new house. It takes a lot of time. We had to move out of my parents' house. They are too chaotic; they shout at each other. My mother isn't dangerous, but she gets worked up about the strangest things and manipulates one with guilt. I am disappointed in my mother. I always looked up to her. I couldn't help it. But I couldn't help her either. One night I had stomach pains from my knees up to my chest! I'm worried I'll end up like my mother with her constant stomach and bowel complaints. I'm always afraid that I've done something wrong or let something slip. When I get angry, I do something I shouldn't. I have to keep control, especially in front of the children. Outdoors I'm better, in summer, when riding my horse. We always had problems that threatened to destroy my family. That's why I used to do a lot of things: I rampaged, threw things around and sometimes hit others. People thought it was fun when I went for others. Sometimes others were nasty to me. I threw things at my sister, pulled her hair or teased her horse. When I was twelve I realised how much damage I caused. A day after I had attacked her I was ashamed of my anger and burst into tears. I needed relief. Crying is a relief. There is anger, abuse and beatings on both sides of the family. My grandfather encouraged the boys to fight; them against the whole world. On my mother's side emotions were constantly acted out without filter. She grew up in a kind of hell. Everything makes her angry, just like me now. She was a victim all her life; she was severely abused and never learned to stand up for herself. It was as if they had killed her. She suffered from severe nightmares. Her identity and sense of self developed out of that. It's a victim stance. I see her slumped shoulders and how she refuses to look up. We are what we think. If you think of yourself as a messy bungler or a helpless victim, then that's what you are. I'm afraid. What will become of our family if she has to go into a home? We always gathered around mum. I'm worried about the younger children. They work and then become careless. It's like peasant life: in winter nothing gets done. I'm worried about the children. Who will look after them? I have to consider what's best for my children and my husband. I can't risk our safety. I suffer from the fact that my security depends on my husband and my children. No matter how great he is, he can let you down. The children can be taken from you. We have to look after them and let them grow up in a safe environment. When I'm not connected to my husband I feel insecure. I don't want him to have a bad opinion of me. I don't want to make mistakes in front of him or others. When he is tired and tense, and we can't talk, I feel unsettled. I find it hard to trust that he is happy. Is he glad to be away from me? Is there someone else? I want to be something special for him and to feel that I belong to him. I want him to think I'm the best wife in the world. I try to find out what he wants, and then I do my best for him. I want him to be proud to be married to me, that he never regrets what he gave up, that he honours me and sees how hardworking and how beautiful I am, and that he desires me. I miss the way he used to look at me, so soft and happy. I was everything to him, and I liked that. My husband is jealous of my dogs. They are very important to me. It's terrible when not everything goes the way it should. I've been through a hard time. I drift off easily and lose myself in daydreams. I have lots of ideas in my head, actions and characters, and I design lovely future plans or invent imaginative stories. When I daydream at home I feel lazy. I hate housework; I'd rather muck out the stable or milk the cows. Once my daughter bit me and in a split-second reaction I then hit her. I was angry at myself, felt like I had failed as a mother. My young female dog recently knocked me over. I hit her twice on the nose: then I put her in a headlock and hit her twice more. When I'm afraid I get angry. My anger is misplaced courage that I use in frightening situations or confrontations. It's like with horses. If you go too far with a horse you get hurt." |
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I love my goats. They combine the best traits of dogs and horses. They are loving and quirky. You can't treat them like cows. I have a special connection with them. I'm afraid of horses because I was once knocked over. |
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I have a great fear of death, especially the death of a loved one. I worry when the children leave the house. I'm afraid to leave them at night in their beds. I suffer from panic attacks! What if they are abused as a cult sacrifice? They are terrible panic attacks. I'm afraid of accidents when I'm behind the wheel, and of intruders who could hurt us. I'm afraid my husband will leave me. Of the pain I would feel! I only feel safe with him. I am also very jealous. I must confess to you that I believe in demons and have already suffered two supernatural attacks; therefore I want to be sure there is nothing supernatural in your remedies. Analysis
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Follow-up, 3 April 2012 After the second dose it felt as if the yeast infection would come back, but it didn't. My joints have improved. I walk 2 miles daily and have no pain. I no longer have breathlessness or palpitations. My bowel movements are better, and I haven't needed laxatives since taking the remedy.
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Our relationship has become calmer. I approach things differently; I was able to recognise that he isn't angry with me. We had only one fight, and after we calmed down we found a good compromise. My mother still drives me crazy. She leans on everyone, and everyone should do everything for her, but I feel more affection for her despite my anger at her. I can control everything better. Normally I get aggressive when I'm jealous, but now I'm able to take a step back and see what triggered those feelings. ************************************************************************** Jessica Jackson lives and practises as a homeopath in Edmonton, Alberta. This article was published on www.interhomeopathy.org. Photo: shutterstock.com Category: Cases |
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| (1) Tendon inflammation, rheumatic spectrum (2) Placebo |
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