They fed us, bathed us and changed our nappies. They pushed us for hours in the pram.
Now they need our help and it's our turn to provide support.
This natural role reversal happens in every generation. It's part of the natural order that we care for our ageing parents.
Although caring for one's own parents can be a wonderful and rewarding life experience, it is not without pitfalls and frustrations. Before her death at the end of 2019, my mother lived with us for a whole year. As individual as every family and care situation may be, there are many common challenges to overcome. With my mother it was the emotions. When she came to live with us, she cried a lot and was often angry. Many older people are like that.
Treating dementia homeopathically
My mother’s dementia had progressed to the point where she no longer really understood her situation. Who wouldn’t have been frustrated, angry and desperate in her place in the face of their own helplessness? It is quite common for older people to have their emotions get the better of them.
My top priority in the homeopathic treatment was to calm my mother’s emotional waves so she could be herself again.
For the crying and the sleeplessness I gave her Ignatia 200, twice daily, until the symptoms subsided. After a while we almost forgot to keep giving her the remedy because she responded so well to it—until I accidentally stopped it once…
Infections in people requiring care
Another stubborn problem is urinary tract infections, which are among the most common causes of death in older people. However, the homeopathic materia medica includes excellent remedies that work very effectively for these complaints, including Cantharis 30. It is usually given every few hours, depending on the severity of the symptoms. Shortly before my mother developed a urinary tract infection, I had noticed an unusual restlessness in her. My mother showed me in her own individual way that something was wrong, and through careful observation I was able to recognise it.
Homeopathy not only acts effectively, but also prevents classic complications such as Candida, constipation, food intolerances and bowel problems that often accompany antibiotic treatment. Even if the person you are caring for can no longer communicate symptoms, you need not throw in the towel. A urinary tract infection can often also be detected—quite logically—by a changed odour of the urine.
Pneumonia is also an important cause of death in older people. An early-stage pneumonia can be brought under control very well with the Banerji protocol: give Aconitum napellus 200 together with Bryonia 30 directly into the mouth. For my mother I first gave the remedies three to four times at 15-minute intervals and then every three to four hours. Once I could see improvement, I only gave the two remedies every five to six hours (and so on). You can read more about this in my article “We can do this — from mother to mother, from family to family.”
Constipation in old age
When you think about it, it is not surprising that many older people suffer from constipation. After all, they spend most of the day sitting. Lack of physical activity often slows the bowels. Combine this immobility with the side effects of the medications that many older adults have to take, and constipation is almost inevitable. Nux vomica 200 or 30, taken as needed twice daily, helps here—gently and reliably and without the explosive side effects of many laxatives. (Read more about Nux vomica in my article “Drug-induced constipation in children”).
You may now be wondering how on earth you are supposed to give your elderly parents homeopathic pellets in addition to the many complaints and problems that arise in everyday life.
Well, if your mother or father is particularly stubborn, you may need to be a little creative when administering remedies. You may know the story of my father. Before he turned into an absolute homeopathy fan, my mother and I had to sneak the little pellets into his soup!
Of course this method is far from ideal, but it is a good compromise as long as you have no other choice. I can well understand that there are situations in which concessions must be made, e.g. if you are working and cannot supervise your parents all day. To avoid having to give too many remedies at once, it helps to set priorities and treat the most important complaints first. You should store the remedies for the most important complaints separately from all the others.
Setting priorities in homeopathic treatment
When less urgent complaints are present, such as a wart, athlete’s foot or wind, you can give the homeopathic remedies for these complaints in combination. I have not done this myself, but many of my students and clients have told me over the years that it works very well. However, it is not optimal.
I do not think, however, that administering the remedies should generally be a major problem. It is part of good case management. This is how I did it with my mother (with very good results, by the way): I gave my mother each remedy or each protocol in the morning and evening while dressing and undressing, with a few minutes between each one.
An example: in the morning after waking up I put the first homeopathic pellets into her mouth. Then I walked with her to the bathroom and on the way there gave another pellet. While washing? Another pellet. Putting her into the wheelchair? Another one. Back in the kitchen to make breakfast? There was another homeopathic dose.
All the homeopathic remedies were given a few minutes apart. That way each remedy had a few minutes to begin its healing effect. And they did!
Ultimately it comes down to not becoming too dependent on others and taking our health into our own hands! We must look after our own health. Can you imagine how many medications my fragile and delicate mother would have had to take at the end of her life if my brother, my husband and I had not decided to protect her from that?
Homeopathy makes you strong
In many ways our society has acquired a “learned helplessness”. To paraphrase the words of the famous business consultant Dan Kennedy: we cling to the umbilical cord and expect others to plug it into the right socket! It is as if we have been conditioned to expect someone else to take responsibility for us. After all, we could never possibly do it ourselves!
But all homeopathy fans know that we ourselves hold the answers to our problems and can heal ourselves. This is especially true when we care for our ageing family members. I do not mean to claim that someone else cannot contribute to the solutions of our problems. I am saying that we should not rely on others. You know: we should trust our own knowledge and not lean on others.
With that in mind: be your own hero — I am only pointing the way. And pass it on, because homeopathy helps!
Warmest regards,
Yours,
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Source: https://joettecalabrese.com/blog/role-reversal-taking-care-of-the-elderly/
Photo: 1814189078 by Nehris
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