E.B. is a slim, dark-haired woman with large brown eyes that stand out from her angular face. She is very humorous, quick and down-to-earth. I have met her several times in the office and our paths cross from time to time in a shared circle of friends. She is a live wire and her friends often can hardly contain their laughter.
In the initial consultation she first talks about her temperament; she can be explosive and hot-tempered and expresses the wish to take things a bit more slowly. "I find it hard to focus. I can't find my rhythm and I don't really know what's coming next." She says this affects her relationships in particular and the people close to her. "I find it hard to ask for help. If I were drowning I might manage it, but I would hate the fact that they had to throw me a lifebuoy. I find it hard to admit that I can't manage something on my own. I like to have everything under control. For me it's a challenge to think about it."
"I rage and scold, I get annoyed and angry. Often I manage to say: 'OK, I'm stressed', but the damage is already done. Inside I feel hot, it bubbles out of me and then I realise that's not what I need. If I find time to be alone or to go for a walk, I can sort it out with myself. But I don't always find a way out. To find a room, space to breathe, or whatever."
E.B. grew up in the American Midwest with a sister and two half-sisters. The two half-sisters are ten and twelve years older than her and E.'s mother was only 21 when she became a stepmother. E.B. says her mother was not yet ready for her role and she cannot remember a calm, loving and nurturing mother.
"I'm close to them (the sisters), but more superficially… they're very different from me. They're into consumption, have fancy houses. I didn't want that. I haven't had support or encouragement for a different path."
"When I was 18 I had a car accident. It was bad, I can't remember a lot (she begins to cry). It's hard sometimes. I don't think I know everything, only fragments. Sometimes I can remember snippets, but I can't see it clearly. That's an after-effect… I flew backwards out of the car, it rolled over several times. I had a broken jaw, fractured shoulders and ribs. My lung collapsed, my pelvis was broken in four different places and my coccyx was crushed. I also had a head injury. A swelling, but I didn't need surgery. I was in an induced coma for three or four days. No internal injuries apart from the collapsed lung. I was lucky. I missed most of my last year at school, but my grades were good enough. I still managed to graduate. I then went to college for two years. In the first year I was dependent on painkillers. My mum came and helped me get off the pain tablets. It was a long road, it took years."
"Since then I haven't taken painkillers. I suffer from chronic back pain. Sometimes it hurts so much I can hardly get out of bed. It's very pain-sensitive. the childbirth was very painful. Since then I haven't taken anything. I get by with arnica and ibuprofen… I'm very afraid. I never thought I would take medication, but that was a terrible time in my life. It frightened me, like any other addict. Once you've overcome an addiction, it's awful to think you could go down that route again."
Her mother was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and she now knows that her mother will die. She mentions that her own daughter is old enough to remember. She says: "but I have no memories. I put on this big, strong façade… that's not always honest, but you have to cope somehow. But it doesn't work for me. I don't want to do it any more."
When I ask her if she cries easily she answers: "Never. I haven't cried even once with my mother and my sisters. I get angry, that's my crutch. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed and sad: on those days I take it out on my husband, my children and my mother. I can't simply say I need a little time for myself, that I'm having a bad day and would like to go for a walk. No, I'm just in a bad mood at bedtime and make life difficult for everyone. My husband has many faults, like everyone, but he loves me and would do anything for me. He's like a loyal Labrador. I can count on one hand how many times we've cried together. I would really like to know what kind of support I actually need from him. To know what I need and not always only what I don't need. Then I could direct my energy there."
In the medical history E.B. reports that as a child she had recurrent middle ear infections and had to take antibiotics very often. She was constantly ill. Despite vaccination she had chickenpox, measles, mumps and rubella.
Before the accident she had been a competitive gymnast and had broken her wrist twice (once on the right and once on the left), as well as her left elbow and her right knee.
"I'm very competitive, I always want to win and to be right. I love feeling my body, sweating a lot… I have to do sport, exhaust myself, otherwise I become restless and nervous."
Family history: multiple cancers; given the indications it was very tempting to prescribe Carcinosinum, but the account of her accident had been too striking. So striking that she broke down in tears during the conversation. Tears she says she never sheds. The chronic back pain and the everyday life of the patient as the mother of two small daughters – lots of lifting and carrying – made me think further.
Hypericum came out very high in the repertorisation, especially for the physical symptoms. It covered many of her injuries from the car accident: crushed coccyx, head injury and memory loss. It is also listed under the following rubrics:
MIND: Restlessness
MIND: Sharp, biting, with a cutting tongue
MIND: Activity, mental, increased
MIND: Ridicule, sarcasm, biting mockery
MIND: Rush of ideas, overwhelming thoughts, flow of thoughts
I felt that E.B.'s feeling "I can't find my rhythm" and her tendency to let everything out before taking the time to consider what she actually needs were good indications for Hypericum. Her injuries and current pains also fitted well. I was unsure whether a remedy usually used for acute situations would also heal injuries more than 15 years old. I nevertheless decided to start at this point.
Prescription: Hypericum LM1 daily.
The first prescription was made in mid-June.
Follow-ups
July: "I feel good. I had a holiday and visited my family in Michigan. I slept on an air mattress and felt wonderful. That's very unusual. The long sitting on journeys is normally not good for my back. It was good, I felt great, I was fully present. Once or twice the emotions came up, but I didn't have to swallow them down; it all just came out. When I was back home we immediately had a family holiday. That wasn't so good, a lot came up. I stopped taking the remedy and only restarted when we were at home. A lot comes up, but I can cope with it better. That's great. I no longer have that chronic pain. It helped… the pains in my hip are gone; I no longer have those shooting pains."
Her answer to my question about her inner restlessness:
"That's a little better. The last two days have been very busy, I have a lot to do. My heart no longer races like it did when I didn't know what to do next. I can now take one step at a time, it no longer spins in my head. I still worry, but I've become more pragmatic. Emotionally I feel stable."
September: "For four weeks I took the remedy every day. I ran about 15 kilometres a week, sometimes 20. I feel great. I had the feeling I had reached a plateau with the remedy. … I can still handle the pain 100% better than before. At the moment I have a bit of PMS… but the feeling of not wanting to get up in the morning and going to bed in pain in the evening – I don't have that any more. I always like to have it (the remedy) with me. My restlessness and rush have become much less. I enjoy having time for myself in the mornings…. I'm not so unbalanced any more. I no longer wear headphones when jogging; that's therapeutic. Previously I had memory gaps, forgot things. I don't do that so often any more. I also don't drink as much coffee. The remedy helped me to do what I needed to do. I learned that I don't need more energy."
Since then she has been taking Hypericum LM2. She is still doing well.
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Photo: Wikimedia commons; Hypericum perforatum; RA Nonenmacher
Category: Cases
Keywords: Anger, temperament, accident, injuries, memory loss, back pain, bone fractures, injury, addiction.
Remedy: Hypericum.
Original article: Interhomeopathy.org
