Beryllium nitricum for social phobia

Case report (extract): This is the remarkable case of a young man with severe social phobia who was treated with a hitherto relatively little-known remedy with good results. One can see the themes of Beryllium and Nitricum emerging, much like the young man himself, who moves from an anxious, withdrawn and lonely existence into a joyful, happy life.

This is a 21-year-old male student who presented for treatment because of depression, which he describes as social phobia. He has already been diagnosed as schizophrenic by a psychiatrist, which he takes very badly. He lives more in a virtual world than in the world of living people, with whom he cannot communicate. He is thin, of medium height and suffers from severe facial acne, unsuccessfully treated with antibiotics. “The acne destroys my self-esteem.”

The central theme of Beryllium nitricum can be summarised as follows: “It is hard for me to cope with my life, so I cannot forgive anyone for disturbing that process.”

“My biggest complaint is that I am unable to form social relationships. I am ashamed that I have no social life; I have a social phobia. I am desperate, stuck within myself, closed off. Life gives me no pleasure. I have no confidence and I constantly worry about what other people think of me. I don’t grow up and don’t take part in life. I am locked up at home, broken and insecure, and it is a problem for me to leave the house. At home I feel somewhat comfortable, but as soon as I go out I feel uneasy. I try to adapt to the familiar environment in which I have always lived. The problem is reflected in my dreams too – I had a nightmare about my family in which I behaved like an autistic boy. I am unable to carry out my everyday tasks. I buy bread as if it were the first time.”

“As a child I was shy and at school I was introverted, but on the playground I was extroverted. I was afraid of many things: birds, the dark and being alone. My mother put me in a daycare centre; it was unbearable. I don’t know what abilities I have and I feel powerless. I try to feel good in order to achieve something in life. Yet through my aimlessness and lack of self-respect I cannot muster myself to do anything.”

“I would like to live among people who are open to conversation, but sociability is a torture for me. I tell others nothing about my life. I hate being looked at or touched, but I see everything. I would prefer to wear dark glasses in the classroom because I fear people might see that something is wrong with me if they look me in the eyes. It feels as if they are analysing me or talking about me. I cannot bear to look someone in the face who knows nothing about me.”

“I am just a tiny grain of sand, but someone is always watching me. If you focus on your pain, you cannot look into faces. I have panic attacks and feelings of anxiety when people watch me or question me about my life. After all, each person has their own life story and background. Some people are favoured by fate and others made ill by it. I get a rash when I do physical exercise or when I am euphoric, nervous or anxious. Sometimes I wake in the night with palpitations and gasp for air as if I were drowning.”

“My father finds my behaviour absurd and acts as if I were a psychopath trying to escape reality. He tells me: ‘Stand on your own two feet!’ I wanted to impress him, for example in football, which he likes to watch, but he was not there when I scored my first goal. He never praised me; he preferred to beat me. My brother destroys my life. He interferes in my life, ruins my friendships and creates an infernal atmosphere. No one has ever respected my privacy. I resent my father for not raising me properly, and I am angry with my brother for his constant nasty remarks. I am sad because my mother is a victim; she doesn’t understand how to help me, she smothers me.”

“I know it is wrong to rise to such hatred where forgiveness should prevail. But I cannot erase the memory of my dark and painful past. The hate poisons my soul. I feel an unjustifiable hatred toward my relatives and other people close to me, especially my father; I cannot forgive him. I would like to sue the psychiatrist who made the misdiagnosis about me. When someone hurts me deeply, I find it hard to forgive them, unless they don’t know me. I do not understand jokes; I take everything personally. I am very intolerant of contradiction, insist on having my way and steamroller others with my demands. Because of my inner imbalance I am very selfish. The past overwhelms me again and again. I must stop behaving so neurotically or I will go mad.”

“I am ashamed to show my feelings because people will then think I am homosexual. I hate it when people confuse romance with homosexuality. I like dogs; I play with them when I don’t feel well in my life. They are faithful; they don’t hurt you. I feel very attracted to blonde girls and I have a strong libido, but my anxiety prevents me forming contacts. I live in cyberspace, watch videos and photos and masturbate. I comfort myself with coffee, stroke my hair and massage my head with my fingers. I used to put a towel on my hair to cool my head. I always wear my shirt the wrong way round, with the inside out. Maybe that helps my body get into a swinging groove rhythm.”

Various remedies were given, starting with Hydrastis canadensis, then Stramonium. Because of the vindictive attitude I thought of a nitricum: first Calcium nitricum, then Barium nitricum, Cobaltum nitricum and finally Beryllium nitricum C 200. It became clear that some symptoms belonged to the nitricums, as we know them from Acidum nitricum (nitric acid) and Nitrogenium (nitrogen), and others to Beryllium with its aversion to life.

Both Beryllium and Nitrogenium belong to the second series of the periodic table, where, according to Jan Scholten, one finds one’s way into the physical world. Beryllium, element number four, represents a childish stage, at which one peeps out from one’s secure environment and learns to adapt to the outside world. Nitrogen, element number seven, is a bit further on and is learning how to find pleasure and enjoyment — especially on the physical level — and can be very resentful when this is in any way hindered. I hesitated at first to give him Beryllium because there had been no proving and no reliable information, yet it was the remedy that led to his major breakthrough.

“I awoke with a feeling of relief; my libido also improved. Certain resentments toward my father, who did not raise me properly, and toward my brother with his malicious remarks remain, but they are nothing that seriously disturbs our relationship. I feel better every day. Gradually my former autonomy is returning. I am less anxious and especially in the morning when I run I have lots of energy. I now leave the house in a positive, relaxed mood. Itching skin rashes only occur now when I exercise or when I am exposed to strong emotions such as fear, anger, surprise or dissatisfaction.”

One month later:
“I am calmer, less anxious, and get on better with my family. This remedy really has a favourable effect, unlike any other I have ever taken. I am no longer locked up in the house; I now walk daily and cycle. I am completely recovered and grateful that this door in my life has opened. Previously I was drained and exhausted; my limits had been reached.”

Two months later, after another dose of Beryllium nitricum C 200:
“I awoke in enviably good condition! Previously I used to take out all my frustration on the household staff. Now I feel lighter, less anxious and less tense. I must develop my spirituality. I also want to improve my cognitive abilities, study sport, especially football or orthopaedics. I have distanced myself from the cyber-world. I want to forget my difficult past and rather think of a much more promising future. I also notice a pleasing development on the physical side. The somatic symptoms no longer frighten me; cold shivers and palpitations when leaving the house have disappeared. I am still somewhat emotionally unbalanced and that paralyses me a little, despite all my efforts. I want to make contacts. I feel trust again, without neurosis and paranoia, and can concentrate more strongly on the goals I want to achieve. I only feel a little uneasy when I am in a new situation, but this is probably normal for someone who has spent so much time without a real social life. I have regained an athletic body. The rashes have gone.”

Three months later, after a dose of Beryllium nitricum C 1000:
“Beryllium nitricum C 1000 immediately reached my soul. I still have some relapses, but I have become wiser and feel more secure. When I misbehave I am no longer so rebellious, but face it with a certain calm and good humour. The relationship with my father has improved over time.”

Five months later:
“Now I understand that my nasty remarks were clear proof of my emotional imbalance and thus caused envy and resentment. I free myself from the spider’s web my mind had spun around me, and I experience the effects in my environment. Two childhood friends visited me: previously I would have been rebelliously locked in my room, but today I was with them, although it felt somewhat strange. I see that this medicine is the way out for me. Through my isolation I was trapped in childish feelings, but now I must cope with my life and let things develop naturally. I will conquer new spaces, study, pursue my career and structure my life. My physical condition is excellent; my body is muscular and I am fit for football. The relationship with my brother has improved and I can now forgive him his careless judgments and comments. Homeopathy has given me hope. Sometimes I behave like a child, jump, shout and dance — and that is a good sign for me!”

Seven months later:
“Beryllium nitricum has brought me to self-reflection and reactivated my life plans. Sometimes I feel a continuous flow of positive emotions, optimism and belief in life. As soon as I take one pellet of this remedy I feel a marked change in my mood that awakens memories of my beautiful childhood (!)

I find that I can also be generous; that reminds me of the good moments in life. I can smile again; I no longer look as sad as before. I walk with amazement through the familiar streets of my neighbourhood, as if I had to reacquaint myself with the environment in which I have always lived. I joke again with my family and I am much more open with them. I can have an argument with my father or my brother and only be upset for a few minutes, without resentment. A process of harmonisation with my family has begun, as I have now become aware that my parents and my brother are my best friends. I hope soon to live quite normally in my social environment. I also dream of different kinds of women — I feel within me the possibility of building an authentic, lasting emotional life. I can now look people in the eye without difficulty.”

Eight months later:
“I have put aside my pride and want to make peace with my parents. I still have some acne, but it now heals faster and no longer bothers me. I believe that I can now let go of a girl I loved platonically and turn to another. I am no longer afraid to leave the house and mix with people. — It seems to me that I had created my own universe far away from everything else. I am now convinced that I can put my ideas into practice. Sometimes I enter a positive flow; then I become very lively and dance exuberantly in front of the mirror. That is my true self, and I am sure I owe that to the positive effect of Beryllium nitricum.”

Dr. Carlos Lima Melo lives and works in Goiânia, near Brasilia. He taught in 1974 at the Brazilian Hahnemann Institute in Rio de Janeiro.