She needs a protective home: a case of Abelmoschus

"Recently we were forced to sell the house we were living in. That gave me a feeling of disintegration. I have the sense that I have no inner home. It reminded me of my youth, when I was a sort of rescuer. Back then it was very important to me that everything was 'in order'. I observed other people's quarrels without taking sides. I felt myself slipping back into that role, and that this was my life; yet I had a big problem: I was alone. At some point I was sexually abused by a family member. I felt that I had given away my body and my soul. I felt very lonely, was terribly scared and even suffered from a loss of reality; it was like a shudder of reality."

There were also moments of anger. I cannot handle anger well, anger that arises from some kind of breakdown. I constantly strive to be in good shape, even when it is not really possible. I also always feel that I have no chance to succeed because the standards are very high.

I felt that I had two personalities, an outer and an inner one. The outer is opinionated and assertive and can stand up for itself. The inner feels fragile and needy and longs to be seen."

Physical symptoms: 

Throat: recently mucus "in all the colours of the rainbow" from the mouth.
Stomach: feeling of fullness. Diarrhoea during periods of insomnia, associated with weight loss. Fullness versus shrinking.
Rectum: tendency to constipation.
Sweat: mainly on the face, sometimes on the palms.
Female complaints: headache on the first day of menstruation, difficulty falling asleep before menstruation.
Sleep: "At night my body only sleeps half, and I am in great restlessness. Sometimes I sleep a little and then wake up. When I wake up I feel as if I have not slept. Sometimes my body is like charged and I cannot fall asleep."

Eating and drinking: 

Cravings: for salty foods, stews, vegetables and fruits. Craving for cold water, more than ever before.
Aversion: occasional disgust for meat.
Aggravation: intense craving for coffee, which however causes either constipation or diarrhoea: "Sometimes, when I am sleep-deprived, I feel as if the nerve endings cannot fall asleep, as if they cannot calm down."

Fears:
"I am afraid that someone will break into my house, and that I cannot protect myself and my family. I fear that someone from outside might come in and cause harm. I cannot talk about or read about violent acts, because that triggers a feeling of inability to protect myself and fight back. The theme is to protect like a mother."

"The problem is going out, and then not finding the way back. I need something that helps me get in and out."

Sleep: difficulty falling asleep
General: Eating and drinking - coffee aggravates
General: Eating and drinking - cold drinks, cold water – craving for
Stomach: feeling of fullness
Mind and emotions: compassionate, understanding
Mind and emotions: need for harmony

Prescription: Magnesium carbonicum C 30

Two months later: yellow-green mucus with sinus blockage. Now she has diarrhoea, whereas previously she was constipated.

She becomes ill, a wet cough with a lot of mucus and great exhaustion. The constipation has resolved, and she is physically very tired. She can fall asleep, but wakes after a few hours and then finds it difficult to get back to sleep.

That same evening she felt better in terms of fatigue and the cough, but still suffers from a blocked nose and stool constipation. After three days she improves.

After a week the bloating and constipation have improved: "My tummy is better shaped, there is a marked improvement. I am no longer bloated. My appetite is better, that gives me a good feeling."

"I now sleep better, but it's still not completely right. In the afternoon and evening I become slightly tired. I need a long time to fall asleep, sometimes even an hour or two. I wake up every night around 3am and feel tension in my body. I have to move in the middle of the night, I really need activity then."

The problem worsens before menstruation and with lack of sleep.

"Before my period I am always very nervous, as if the body reaches a peak of stress. When menstruation comes, everything calms down a bit. There are moments or hours when I could despair: I then see no meaning in life, I have no desire for anything and no motivation. Nothing seems right to me, nothing attracts me. I want to withdraw, but I have to appear mature and sensible in front of my family. My anxieties have reduced a lot."

Three months later: Back pain has returned: "I have a huge anger. I cannot go with the flow of life, as if I had no patience. I feel that others are dumping their own problems on me, things that have weighed heavily on them for years. I cannot find myself in all of this, and internally I feel like a little girl who needs a mature and protective personality."

She moves away from the area where her parents live, which again produces a feeling of separation. The move is accompanied by guilt because she is leaving her parents, as if she were abandoning her responsibility towards them. Feelings of anger arise because she has to organise everything herself: "Something in me is dependent and has a great need for maternal support and understanding."

Shortly before the menstrual cycle the tension in body and mind increases, and the difficulty falling asleep worsens. The menstrual bleeding was much lighter than normal, there is hardly any blood.

"At the moment I have sleep disturbances; I sleep for a certain time, usually two hours, and then I wake up and feel how tense my body is. It is as if I have a scream inside me." She has bloating again.

At this point I decided to review the case again. It was clear that she had undergone a significant change since the first consultation, but I felt there was still a central theme that had not changed. The themes repeated themselves: the nourishing and caring element, the theme of family, separation or independence, loneliness in the flat and the sleep problem.

Now the idea occurred to me to consider a remedy from the plant kingdom. The patient's language, together with her high sensitivity and adaptability, and the importance of a place, a house, suggested a plant remedy. On the physical level she has an adaptation problem that manifests in the digestive tract.

She has problems with her attachment and with the need for a very close relationship. The illness appeared when she had to leave her home: she felt cut off from her roots, which provoked disproportionate anxiety. All these symptoms led me to look for a plant remedy.

At this point I consulted the plant periodic table from Michal Yakir's "Wondrous Order". I turned to the fourth series with its food themes, with the themes of holding on versus separation, elemental nourishment, motherhood, protection, vulnerability and dependence that stand against building an independent life.

In the 4th series we find the family Malvales, in which the themes 'nourishment' and 'separation from the mother' are played out on a childlike level or in early childhood.

Prescription: Abelmoschus C 30, one dose

I chose this remedy because of the problem of setting boundaries: boundaries are tested and overstepped (the remedy has a great fear of invading insects); setting boundaries versus feeling overwhelmed. These themes are reflected in her nocturnal restlessness and her inability to relax. She locks her house, lacks confidence in her work, suffers from a feeling of disintegration and blocks herself, and her relationships dissolve.

Vithoulkas writes that this remedy can be easily confused with Phosphorus and Calcium carbonicum because of its anxieties that increase dramatically at night. There is not much information about the remedy, but in this case the nocturnal aggravation is prominent.

Follow-ups

Two months later: Since taking the remedy: "I can separate more easily, can look after myself well. I feel safe, supported and loved. Inside I have more of a sense of an 'I'. For the first time in my life I was really able to talk to my family, and despite the difficulties the conversation did us all good.

Today I know that I can be where I am without having to apologise, that I live my life in my own rhythm. I feel equipped and able to listen to my own rhythm. I believe there is something unique in me; I cannot participate in the race of modern life."

As a child I felt that there were things beyond the visible. Perhaps I created that world in an attempt to create harmony because I did not feel seen. Apparently I lacked something. I felt so alone and was sad. It is the same feeling that led me to try to create an atmosphere of gentleness in our home, of sharing, relationships and communication - being there for each other.

One year later (during this time she received another dose): "I can sleep, I really have rest. I have become much softer with myself and the world. I also allow myself to hang out, have fun and do things for myself.

"For many years I took on the role of being a bridge for the family. Now I can step back a few steps and let them build the bridge themselves. That is a breath of fresh air for me."

"I can now let go more in relation to my work. I am less tense and no longer feel constantly guilty. I can enjoy life without feelings of guilt."

Category: Cases
Keywords: mood swings, disintegration, fragile, protection of the home, separation from the mother, boundaries
Remedy: Abelmoschus