Plutonium nitricum: He has lost his inner light

A 55-year-old man came for consultation in December 2000. Between 1975 and 1979 he managed, with the help of Sulfur and Natrium muriaticum and supported by his wife's love, to overcome his drug addiction.

“I am utterly unhappy ... with my wife. She told me certain things out of the blue. Don't get me wrong, she never cheated on me, but I made it worse than it was, a small love affair without consequences, before we met. I wondered at my own reaction.”

“After I took Crotalus cascavella I felt well. I had always felt as if standing before a locked door, and that has gone. But there is a hatred in me that I have known since childhood; it sits deep inside me.”

godlike

Taking into account the Crotalus cascavella themes — revenge and the desire to kill with a knife — I asked him: “Do you feel you must avenge this former love affair of your wife? Would you feel relieved if you could stab him in the back with a knife?
“No, not in the back, but face to face, in a duel, even if I would lose. I tell myself: ‘You are a villain.’ I am an agnostic. I admire the faithful; they have no problems. I don't know where I belong and besides I have this hatred!”

I offered him the interpretation that “it is impossible to be devout if one wants to be God oneself.” He still indulges in nostalgia for those drug states, when he felt omniscient and almighty like God.

“Yes, I have the feeling it will start again, I even long for it, it's crazy. I surprise myself that I can be like this. It would be very easy to become a tyrant. It is a lot of fun (he is in fact a very nice man). To be generous anonymously is very hard. I would like to be, but I cannot bring myself to it. I can be like a pitbull if I don't control and restrain myself. I was a bad boy, I beat people and behaved perversely. I knew what to say to torment people; you can also kill with words. I also tormented animals; I cornered dogs and beat them. My father bought me an air rifle, and I shot mercilessly at everything that was alive, I killed lizards, chickens, etc. I didn't give it a thought.” (Jeremy Sherr describes Plutonium nitricum as brutal violence without any wisdom).

Light

I cannot bear anyone having power over me. My behaviour is primitive and instinctive. I read the Bible while on LSD and I simply could not carry on reading, I was so blinded by the pages. A huge light came out of the book, tremendous, even terrible, as if a lightning bolt struck into the eyes. I stopped reading and closed the book.”

Analysis:
His words immediately reminded me of the theme of Light in Plutonium: he has lost his inner light and refuses to take in the light that comes from others, from outside. He sees only his own inner life; great men do not interest him; he cannot endure the light and finds no support in the external world. As soon as he does not receive light from his inner source, he despairs of the whole world. He wants to be divine from his own inner light and will not be guided by any external light. As a result he falls into such a deep, dark night that descends on him, like the evil spirits he so fears.

Plutonium has a craving for transcendence in itself and in the outer world through self-illumination; it needs a strong light that orders chaos by its own vibration.

Prescription: Plutonium nitricum 1M

Follow-Ups:

January 2001:
“It is going extremely well. I come only because of my back. I strained a muscle when I lifted 330 kg boxes (raw strength without wisdom: Plutonium nitricum). I continued taking Plutonium nitricum 1M (in water) and had success.

March 2002:
“I am getting better and better. For a while I had no pain at all, but for about a month I have been stiff in the sacroiliac joint and I am more aggressive again. I am not, as before, full of hatred 24 hours a day; I can ignore it, but if something upsets me and I suppress it, then I feel the old hatred again.

February 2003:
He is well, apart from morning stiffness in his back; he complains of dull pain and limited mobility. He has not had the “terrible stomach pains” any more, although he repeatedly carries cardboard boxes weighing over 40 kg several times a day.

And the hatred? “It is much better, not so compulsive, and I have realised that it is me. It is easy to become violent to let off steam. For a while I thought I was only in this world to break the vicious circle of violence. I could never have continued living like that; it was hell. I lived with the suffering of my past like a drug that fuelled my hatred.” I give him Plutonium nitricum C 30.

February 2004: He feels well. His back is troubling him again and he is tired. I repeat Plutonium nitricum C 30.

Evolution:
In the following years I prescribed the following remedies with good success: in May 2005 Plutonium nitricum XM for his haemorrhoids, in March 2006 Plutonium nitricum LM for stomach pains after workplace stress. In May 2006 Plutonium nitricum C 200 for bronchitis and a dream of monsters, one of which tried to catch him. In February 2007 he returned because of nocturnal and morning abdominal cramps. “Previously I was haunted by my past, now the future threatens me.”

I prescribe Anhalonium after a dream. In June 2007 he still complains of stomach pains and haemorrhoid problems. He speaks again of his hatred, which from time to time seizes him like an attack, and analyses it: “Why do I suddenly feel hatred towards people? I have realised that it is jealousy, hateful jealousy. I can now put it into words: ‘She has done you no harm, she simply has exactly what you do not have.’” I prescribe Plutonium nitricum XM 1. In September 2009 Belladonna eliminated his headaches, “as if my head wanted to explode.” Otherwise he is doing well. In August 2010 he still struggles with anxieties; he has fears about the future regarding his work, which has been causing him problems since July. Nevertheless, since taking Plutonium nitricum he has become a different person; in his own words: “escaped from hell.” He will probably need further repeat doses.

**************************************************************************

Photos:
The Helix Nebula: planetary nebula emitted by a dying star; NASA, ESA, and C. R. O'Dell (Vanderbilt University)
Chicago, Illinois. In the waiting room of the main station, Jack Delano

**************************************************************************

Categories: Cases
Keywords: hatred, violence, malice, godlike, loss of the inner light, drugs
Remedy: Plutonium nitricum

**************************************************************************