by Helen Beaumont
The 54-year-old patient was referred by her GP to the homeopathic hospital in Bristol for menopausal problems and hot flushes. She is dressed entirely in black and makes a very striking impression.
Patient (P): I have hot flushes and mood swings. I can become very, very angry – and I mean really angry. It is this tension that I cannot cope with. You get used to it when you still have periods, but once they stop you don't understand what's happening. It is dreadful, very difficult, a real challenge.
I am a teacher and I teach 16/18-year-olds. My God, I have often thought about giving up my job. I am one of the few teachers who do not tolerate bad behaviour and cheekiness. The pressure is huge. If the average grades are too poor, there is no funding, so you make an effort to teach youngsters English and maths – it's a fight-or-flight situation.
I'm tired of this work, but I really have no choice, I have to work. I also teach 19-year-olds, which brings quite different problems. There are many young single mothers among them. A teacher should help all children, including the socially disadvantaged. I have done what I could. I had to be tough. It's not just about my work, there are other problems too.
Family problems
P: Four years ago I lost my mother. It is still hard for me. It's crazy, we all knew it would be very hard for me – very emotional, but I have the feeling I cannot go on living. I am trying to come to terms with not having a mother any more. I have to be grown up now. I could always go to her with my problems and talk about everything. I burdened her with my problems.
Her death has torn the family apart – I think that is partly my fault. My sister is very temperamental – guess how opinionated she can be – and my brother is also a teacher. I have been with my husband for 15 years. My parents divorced when I was 13. My mother was the link between us all, she kept us together and that has been missing since she died.
Self-righteousness
P: I have always been very headstrong and usually want to be right. That has often got me into trouble. I like to call things by their name, maybe I should hold back more.
I have a daughter, she is a wonderful person, but she doesn't pay a penny and shows no respect. She was very close to my mother; the two of them got on brilliantly. My daughter was fine until my mother died and suddenly she gave everything up. She dropped out of school and didn't complete her exams. She found a full-time job and tried to stick with it. She couldn't manage. She is just lazy, and yet I supported her with a lot of money.
Suicidal thoughts
 |
| Fight or flight |
P: I have a wonderful husband, he is very understanding and supports me in everything. Sometimes I cannot understand how good he is to me, I don't know what I would do without him. I have suicidal thoughts because I feel I am a burden to everyone. My daughter is only 21 and has a mountain of debt. That's not a good start in life.
I have no contact with my siblings any more. It's not right, after all we are related, but we just don't get on. I have tried, but my husband lost his job, he is unemployed and we have no money. But we cannot take money from the family when we do something for them. I blame myself all the time.
Forceful
Helene Beaumont (HB): Please tell me something about the reproaches.
P: I hate myself for it and for what comes out of my mouth. It's as if I were two people. I hate myself, but who do I tell that to? At work it has become a "joke" – joke in inverted commas.
It is like Tourette's syndrome – it is like a compulsion. I always have to say what everyone is thinking anyway. Everyone shares my opinion, but I'm the one who says it out loud.
My former boss valued me highly for my teaching skills, but I'm like a machine gun: they load me, aim and I fire off the rounds. Either things go the way I want them to, or goodbye. I stick to the rules, but I am very forceful.
Black and white
P: In class I had this pupil whose mother was an alcoholic. He couldn't stick to the rules. I really tried to reach him. He liked West African music. My husband has a good rapport with kids and played him music by West African artists. I even arranged a placement for him with a hairdresser who specialised in African hairstyles, so both Black and white styles. I am well connected in town. But the boy said he didn't want to work with Black people and I got upset about it. He then claimed I called him a racist. He began to come regularly late to class, which irritated me a lot. In the end I shouted at him and told him he couldn't keep breaking the rules. He flew into a rage and yelled at me, became really abusive and threatened to punch me in the face. I then threw him out.
The truth is more important than anything else
P. The boy was excluded from the class and then there was a hearing, I had to take a position. The boy did not tell the truth then and was allowed back into my class. I was completely sidelined. Informally I was told I was right, but that I had intimidated the boy too much. I simply told too much, the union had no influence on the matter at all. I must protect myself better; my need to tell the truth is greater than anything else, but it also makes me vulnerable. I am defenceless and provide an easy target for others.
Debts
P: I would like to give up my job, but I cannot afford to. We have debts and that is my fault. My husband has lost his job four times in six years. We have a debt-repayment plan, but it will take years to get out of it. I don't want to tell my daughter, she might think I'm scum – maybe I am?
Doing the dirty work
P: I had a terrible boss. Everyone warned me not to cross her. But it had to be done. We really came to blows, I stuck my hand straight into a hornet's nest. I filed a complaint about her conduct because she bullied me. I always had to work late, my timetable was awful. But now I only hear that people are afraid of me everywhere and therefore I can't work anywhere else. There was a hearing – nobody had previously dared to stand up to this woman – the union had to do something about her at last. Then it turned into a real witch-hunt and nobody wanted to talk to me afterwards. It was almost as if I had to do the dirty work, even though everyone was afraid of this woman.
I feel poor and ashamed
HB: Please tell me more about the hot flushes.
P: I get hot and then I go crazy. I can't really say I feel hot, or why I behave so idiotically. It just happens – whenever I think I have the scepter in my hand, when I feel I can do something better than others. I could, for example, get worked up only about stupid van drivers. I become very irritable and start shouting. I'm really very sorry that I am like this, there is no excuse for it, I find it disgusting myself.
I have to speak things as they are. Everyone expects it of me. It is a burden, no one else will say it. My husband is more diplomatic. Yesterday I came home and suddenly became SO angry. Our hands are tied, the house is only half-finished and there is nothing we can do about it. I feel poor and I am so ashamed of it.
HB: What does being poor mean?
P: I am so ashamed, it is humiliating, you are ostracised by the family. I must learn to manage on less money. I need to learn not just to spend money, but also to handle it.
Feeling unloved
P: I like being with my husband, I feel comfortable with him. He once cheated on me, I worried about it, but we got past it.
Men are as they are. Men are weak, women are not. The same thing happened to my mother. My husband has worked on himself, he knows it was a mistake, but it is hard to keep under control. After a long holiday in America we found our way back to each other.
He has only had bad luck with work so far. He is very clever and talented, but sometimes a real bastard – that is his weakness. I am determined to see this through with my husband, to fight for him. I am not afraid to say it, we have cried together.
Can I forgive him? Nobody is perfect, I made him pay for it, but we must look forward. I can forgive him, but not forget. I worry if we go four days without sex. He swore to me that he hasn't done it again since then, but he is on chat rooms on the internet. Actually you should pity him, not me.
Sometimes I ask him "What is wrong with you?", but he just says he doesn't feel loved by me because I am so moody. Nobody is perfect, I am really lucky to have this man, this connection with him, this deep relationship, but of course we have our faults. He cheated on me and I haven't really forgotten it. I am unpredictable, he never knows what mood he will find me in. My father did the same to my mother.
Environmental awareness
HB: What do you feel particularly connected to?
P: To the earth – what is happening here really scares me. I am afraid for our planet, for the environment. It's crazy, we are running out of resources, the water is up to our necks and then you die having done nothing, achieved nothing. I would like to live in the country, keep horses and ride.
Worthless, theft
P: There are people I am very jealous of. My mother left all her money to her new husband, he even called me a floozy.
I find all of this very confusing. I can no longer trust my own judgment. Was that real, or was it just my imagination?
I do not feel appreciated. I cared for my mother and received no respect for it.
I have a shitty daughter, work is not going well and my husband is shit. I don't know anymore who I am. I am only a woman and a mother. They do what they want with me.
Fear of fluttering birds
HB: Do you have fears?
P: 
Birds – I hate birds, they drive me crazy. Seagulls are so huge and get bigger and bigger thanks to all the McDonald's rubbish. It's incredible what's going on in the air, it drives me mad.
Trapped and tormented
P: Large lorries make me panic. I am afraid of being crushed, of suffocating. I have dreamt of something that is bigger than me.
I will be locked up, I will be tortured. Is there a way out? I cannot breathe and can see nothing.
I deserve it, it is all my fault. Sometimes I think I am going mad. I strike out, I scratch, I fight, then I break down in tears.
Remorse
P. Not a week goes by without my crying. Alone. Something happens and I feel so sorry. I constantly feel guilty. I apologise, of course, that is what I am known for. I also apologise to my husband for my mood swings.
Loneliness versus closeness
P: But when you are misunderstood, that is a real challenge. How do you react to that? I have hurt people so often, it has left wounds, but I could never be mean to someone.
I feel like a lone wolf; no one is an island by nature, but mine is self-made. I don't do typical girly things, that kind of girlishness annoys me. I have a good friend, we get on very well, she knows my soft side. She smokes a lot and when I am with her I smoke a cigarette too, even if I don't feel like it. It calms me. Smoking has already become an addiction for me. Since my mother's death I do sport and have lost 15 kilograms. It was like a family wedding and we all put on a show.
Overlooked
P: I feel great, but at 54 you move on a different level. I tackle problems and make peace with myself.
I sit in a trap, I am not noticed, as if I were on a completely different planet. But I know I'm right.
Sometimes I even break down in tears in the classroom – do I need all of this? Then I start shouting. These hot flushes then come back at me with full force.
Analysis
Animal kingdom
The patient had already received Lachesis, but did not respond to it.
There are many conflicts and confrontations, especially regarding the conduct complaints and hearings it is about "me or the others". "I am unprotected and provide an attack surface for others."
Moreover, there are issues of jealousy and insecurity on the sexual level. The case is situated in the animal kingdom.
Which animal is this about?
The patient works a lot and is afraid of poverty; her worries about high debt indicate survival fears. She feels bullied and unrecognised at work. This could be an insect theme.
Bird themes
The patient talks about her travels, she feels constricted and has the sensation of suffocating. However, her problems are not primarily about the tubercular miasm, but rather about rejection by her family and colleagues. She feels "humiliated, excluded by my family. I am ashamed." "I find myself disgusting." These are the statements of an animal remedy from the leprosy miasm.
She speaks openly about her problems and about what comes out of her mouth, even when it lands her in trouble. There is no deceit, so it is not a snake remedy. Communication, including gossip, are central characteristics of birds. Concerns about the family and the state of our Earth as well.
Outrage
Aside from the fear of birds there are many other fears in this case that can be well repertorised. "I will be locked up and tortured, how can I escape? I cannot breathe, I can see nothing…" Fear of being imprisoned and of torture are central themes of Falco peregrinus. However, Falco peregrinus is the only bird remedy adequately mentioned in the repertory and we cannot exclude that the patient might be a different bird remedy.
The main theme of the patient is not the fear of being locked up or tortured as we know from the falcons. The patient is indignant about conflicts, about unfair disciplinary procedures and verbal attacks. She feels humiliated. Jonathan Shore writes in his book 'Birds – Homeopathic Books from the Avian Kingdom' about Corvus corvax. He shows that Corvus patients also dream of being imprisoned, but their visible reaction to this takes the form of outrage and readiness to confront. "I deserve it, it is all my fault. Sometimes I think I'm going mad. I strike out, I scratch, I fight, then I break down in tears."
In his book 'Birds in Homeopathy – Freedom in the Skies' Peter Fraser differentiates between Corvus splendens (house crow) and Corvus corax (raven). He describes the genus Corvus as very irritable and quick-tempered, the slightest provocation leads to an outburst of anger; "they shoot other people down with their words". Nevertheless, with Corvus there is a desire to help others; they also feel unjustly accused and have a pronounced sense of justice. Corvus is materialistic and resorts to drastic means (theft) to enrich itself.
Raven patients often believe they have been bypassed in inheritance matters; in financial affairs they generally feel like victims. They feel humiliated and abused and are tired of constantly having to protect themselves against external attacks. Patients who need this remedy do not feel appreciated, recognised or respected for what they say or do. They feel unacknowledged in their person. This drives them to madness, they literally shout against the injustice. They are furious with rage, shout and break down in tears.
Under certain circumstances a distorted sense of reality is also a theme; they no longer know what is real and what is not. Their own reality and truth is denied by the outside world, which leads to feelings of shame and inferiority complexes. Jonathan Shore emphasises these people's commitment to their environment. He also writes that ravens tend towards black-and-white painting. During the examination a suicidal mood could be felt.
In the present case we cannot discern the metaphysical, supernatural aspects of the raven as harbinger of death and messenger between worlds.
The choice between crow and raven is difficult.
Prescription: Corvus corax, LM3 daily.
Follow-up
P: I am well, I feel much more sensible. Work does not occupy me as much. I have become more positive. Some things have changed, I am currently considering opening a small shop.
Over the past months I have learned a lot; I now know I can set myself goals.
I forgot to mention that I used to get herpes a lot. The blisters took ages to heal. After taking the remedy I had another herpes outbreak, but it healed very quickly. I now do aerobics and I love it.
My family is well; I have a better relationship with my daughter. I have become sensible and don't cry as often. I have also re-established contact with my brother and my father. I do not need to take the drops as often now, only when I feel I need them again.
HB: What about your hot flushes?
P: Hot flushes – what hot flushes? (Patient laughs)
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Photos: Monkey Business Images
Category: Cases
Keywords: hot flushes, anger, forceful, swearing, misunderstood, not respected, unappreciated, betrayed, trapped, not real.
Remedy: Corvus corax
