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33-year-old man, first consultation on 7 January 2011
Main complaint: burnout syndrome
“I suddenly feel lost, I have no motivation left, nothing. I'm not myself anymore. I always liked laughing and going out. I have plans, I want to carry them out, but then I feel like I don't want anyone around me or to do anything. I feel like I'm missing out on everything.
It started about 3 years ago after a back injury. I felt a great loss, nothing was the same as before. I had several vertebrae fractured, and the sciatic nerve was pinched. I went to a chiropractor, had an X-ray and saw a specialist who told me it was healing. It can have severe effects, pain when walking and moving, and if I walk around all day; lower back pain, pain in the buttock, in the left leg, and calf cramps.
About 10 years ago I lifted something that was too heavy; I tried to be a hero. For a few years nothing happened, but 3 years ago it hit me really hard: I was out of action for almost 6 months. I couldn't do much, I lost my physical strength, and even a simple walk was almost too much.
I have almost no motivation left. I'm more of a daydreamer. I want to do this and that, and then it becomes too much, and I do none of it, not even everyday things like housework. Last week, for example, it took me 4 days to go to the bank and pay a bill.
What do you do?
I just sit and think about life, what I could do, what I wanted to do; I lie there and think about it instead of doing something. Something is missing or something has to happen, but I don't know what.
I like fishing and camping. When I was still working, I often wanted to get out and fish for a while. I think a lot about social life.
At the moment I feel like a hermit. Normally I'm always out and visiting other people, but now I don't do any of that.
Please tell me something about your childhood!
As a child I always had dogs and other pets. My parents were okay, they took us to the park and things like that. My mother was good, but my father was violent. The sort of guy who could be sitting at the table and suddenly hit someone for no reason or throw chairs. My brother and I were often beaten, mostly for no reason, we walked on eggshells.
Feelings towards your father?
I've thought about it a few times: I loaded the rifle (calibre .22) and wanted to go upstairs and shoot him; everything was prepared - I would only have had to go up the stairs, but I never found the courage. I was clear about what would happen then, we would end up in a foster family, I could see that far ahead.
When I was younger, I was in a pretty desperate situation. I was a quiet child and could occupy myself well; I had some friends, but I mostly kept to myself.
As children my sister and I stuck closely together. We were very close, she was my little shadow, she wasn't as badly off as we were. Sometimes I took the beatings for my little sister.
And your mother?
When we were younger she was in the same boat with us, eventually she left him for a while. I don't know the whole story, although I spoke to her about it when I was about 15 or 16. She couldn't afford to leave him while she had 3 children to raise. She was also abused; she probably had it the worst, that much is certain.
Your brother?
He never really stood up to our father, he tried to look the other way, but he also got some of it.
How did you react?
I ignored him, pushed him out of my mind. If I ran away he would still be there. If I ran away, the family would still get beaten. Everyone was too frightened to leave. That went on until I was about 15 or 16; then I suddenly changed and began to stand up for myself. My father still seemed threatening, but he became a grumpy old man.
How did you get on at school?
I think fine. When I was younger my parents never had money, I never had nice clothes etc. I was teased a bit, but not too badly. I had a few good friends; occasionally there were problems. Kids are kids, childhood is part of growing up. If something bothers you, you have to do something about it. It didn't affect my life.
How did you get on in adolescence?
I used to smoke a lot of cannabis; I still smoke pretty much every day, mostly in the evening; only occasionally do I get a bit high.
Originally I had planned to work for about a year and then go back to college and qualify as a mechanical engineer. But I never went back. At work I met a lot of nice people and felt that this was the place where I was needed. For a few years I was happy with my job. When I was younger I never travelled much, so it was great for me to be paid to travel and get to know new places.
In recent years I had some downtime, before that I was usually away about 8-10 months of the year. I was dependent on the money. Working is in my blood; I enjoyed the work and liked the people I worked with. For a long time it was: “This is my life and this is what I want to do.” Only since 2007 have I realised that life has much more to offer.
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I'm now paying more attention to a work–life balance. From August to December I only had 4 days off.
I have no goals, I'm still looking for them. I just want to be happy and have fun all the time, to live a healthy life. I'd like to spend more time with other people, with friends, with family, and to be at gatherings and get-togethers etc.
I'm always out of breath, I smoke too much. I don't drink enough during the day. I literally have to force myself. I have stress at work, my whole life revolves around work.
What do you do when you feel stressed?
I go for a short drive and put my foot down. Maybe I talk to someone at work about it to get it out. In 80% of cases I go for a drive to calm down. I can't sit around taking deep breaths in front of my colleagues.
Is the stress due to your managerial position?
At first it was very stressful, I had taken on too much. I found it hard to say “no”, that's not good. I always take care of everyone else first and try to help them before I get on with my own work.
Do you have leadership qualities?
I liked it, we were a team - I love challenges, that's for sure.
Sleep?
Some nights are okay, but most nights I toss and turn in bed, wake up, get up for a bit, go back to bed, and don't get enough sleep. I wake up in the morning and don't feel refreshed. I'm stuck in my work.
Dreams?
I could never really remember any of my dreams. I dream a lot about my work, about what will happen the next day or whatever.
At the end of the consultation he says: “Where has my life gone?”
Patient's colour choice: 21 C
Analysis
The rubric “Mind and disposition, desire to kill – parents, their, in a child” has only one remedy: Derris pinnata.
I thought this was important in this case, together with other themes that belong to the iron series. There are also many similarities with the Leguminosae. I was of the opinion that a plant remedy was indicated, since the injury some years earlier was clearly the cause that led to the present state.
Fabaceae themes reflected in this case
- Dreams of work (Baptisia)
- Poverty, fear of poverty
- Duty, working too hard
- Butterfly-like: longing for freedom, wanting to escape a difficult existence
The theme of poverty is widespread, the fear of not having enough to meet one's needs, both on a physical and an emotional level (DD Psorinum). Life is experienced as laborious and boring, joyless and without variety. Everything is hard work and not play. Patients who need Fabaceae feel powerless in the face of their situation of poverty and lack. They tend to overexert themselves and in doing so become dry, humourless, disappointed and critical ("holy bean").
Jan Scholten notes that the Fabaceae (Leguminosae) are important remedies in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The tiredness is both physical and mental. Physically it can lead to real paralysis (multiple sclerosis, polio) or the opposite of paralysis, namely epilepsy. Mentally the condition manifests as sluggishness and confusion, inability to concentrate or to think at all. In short, the overall picture is characterised by distress, suffering and a mood of ruin.
The logical consequence of this is the craving for pleasure, the desire to enjoy life without the burden of problems.
Fabaceae remedies may be needed when someone has experienced their whole life as hard, or they may be helpful in certain phases of life when there is only work and no pleasure.
According to Jan Scholten, Derris pinnata is in stage 15, in the tubercular miasm, with themes of loss, sudden feelings of being lost, desire to travel, breathing difficulties, and loss of life energy.
Prescription: Derris pinnata C 6, daily
Follow-up after one week:
(The patient reports that he now has no pain, neither on getting up nor during the day.)
I have a bit more enterprise. I no longer just think about doing something. For a few days I've been working in my department. I have more energy again and I'm not so extremely tired in the evenings. Strange: I sleep less and have more energy. I sleep through the night. I still have no dreams. When I dream, it seems to last only 2 minutes. I repeatedly see the sea and the bright sun, so peaceful. I sleep much better, and it's not even difficult to get up in the morning. In the last two days I've already been getting up at 6 a.m.
Follow-up after 2 months
I sleep through the night. In the mornings I'm only sleepy for one or two minutes, but then I get up, and my energy is quite good. I got a dog; he forces me to walk, which gives good energy. Energy and motivation have become much better than they were before; I no longer sit and think about things. Mostly I get everything done that I need to in a day, which is great.
Back pain?
It really seems to be improving. I apparently have no pain anymore. I also have no pain when getting up in the morning, and it's like "wow!" The sciatica is also better; the sciatic nerve reacted slightly when I started going for long walks and hikes with the dog. I was surprised when I visited C. last weekend: I was on an indoor playground for hours and had absolutely no pain, which is amazing. It's as if I've started a new life. I feel like I can do a lot more again; life is returning! It feels like there's a bit more fun again. I feel like a child again; one day I planted a tree, and it was fun and brought back old memories.
Shortness of breath?
Not so often any more since I started walking; it doesn't hit me as often; it's more the exception.
Follow-up after 4½ months
I'm really well, it's a huge difference. I sleep less, but I feel rested and ready to face the day. I have much more energy and manage what I need to in a day. My breathing is wonderful, I can now walk uphill with my dog. I still smoke, but my eating habits have become much healthier (I've lost weight). Everything has developed positively, the treatment was very successful! If I feel a bit low, I notice what's happening and don't fall back into depression. Then I take another dose (C 12) and the next morning I'm fine again.
Follow-up (email) after 15 months
All healthy and well here. I still have a few globules from the first time you sent them to me; I take them if necessary. My energy is a bit up and down because of some people who came into my life and then left again. This winter I had a new flatmate; he stole from me while I was away; that troubled me for a while. But as soon as I took the remedy, my energy came back and my mind became clear again. My back has improved; therefore I can now work more, and that keeps me moving. I now sleep better. I go to bed at 11 p.m., and get up every morning at about 7 a.m. after a restorative night's sleep.
Katharina Riedener practises in Osoyoos, B.C. (Canada)
Category: Cases
Keywords: chronic fatigue, unmotivated, desire to kill, fear of poverty, Leguminosae
Remedies: Derris pinnata
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