Over-connection and possessive relationships over three generations: a Latrodectus mactans case

by Alize Timmerman

Prescribing across generations

In my practice I often work with families and extended families. Interesting situations can arise when three generations — grandmother, mother and child — are all patients in the practice, and the practitioner can observe the course of the family line. Sometimes the genetic and psychological backgrounds seem to play a similar role repeatedly across generations, underlining the miasmatic situation of the patients. We see how a sensation is transmitted from generation to generation.

In all three cases described below the remedy for all three patients was the same. The remedy in question is Latrodectus mactans, the “Black Widow”, a spider remedy that helps with cardiovascular problems when the emotional symptoms are associated with possessive behaviours within family relationships; the remedy also helps to resolve emotional problems of attachment and separation.

The common situation is that of a child growing up without a father. The mother relies emotionally on the child, which leads to the child having to carry the burden of the previous generation, resulting in psychological and emotional disorders (1, 2).

Victim and possession

It begins with neglecting oneself; they sacrifice themselves for the sake of their parents. This over-connection, this too-intense bond, in turn produces a dependent behaviour in their relationships. Each generation shows the same possessive, clingy and demanding behaviour towards the next generation or their partner. It becomes complicated when a person tries to step out of this process, because then the possessive person falls into a whirlpool of frustration and despair and does not know how their life should continue.
The first to come to the practice was the mother; she was followed by the grandmother and then the girl. Observations about the great-grandmother were relayed by the grandmother.

Case one: the woman (the mother in the diagram)

The first to present to the practice was the daughter of the grandmother. At her first visit she was 27 years old; she was a Street dance (Breakdance) teacher, overactive and industrious, and very slim. 

Intense relationships

She had had many relationships in which she often came off worst. Most of her previous relationships followed the same pattern as her current one. At present she is in a relationship with a younger man. They argue a lot; she attacks him because he arrives late, spends too little time with her, and does not give her enough attention. Sometimes they fight quite violently, their quarrels bordering on physical abuse.

At the case-taking she says she feels she could not go on living if they were to separate. She is prepared to sacrifice everything for this man. When her boyfriend is not there she feels completely abandoned and desperate. She feels trapped in the sense that she sees no reason to live without this boyfriend.

Previously she had an intense sexual relationship with another man, but that relationship had the same destructive structure of possessiveness. In another relationship she could share everyday life with her partner, and it was a less violent relationship, but without sexual passion or attraction between them.

She has had a difficult relationship with her mother for years. Her mother was very manipulative with her, seemingly loving and caring, but at the same time drew all attention to herself. The patient says that when she is with her mother she feels as if she is being pulled into her mother's energy field. She broke off the relationship with her mother because she felt suffocated by her mother's attention.

Trapped in her feelings

She teaches dance. When dancing her energy seems inexhaustible. She longs for a child and believes that a baby will completely change her life.

She comes to the practice because she wants to change her attitude towards her boyfriend, to avoid the extreme fits of rage she sometimes has, and to free herself from the feeling of abandonment that occurs as soon as her boyfriend is absent.

Some years later she is no longer with that boyfriend and has a child (a girl) whom she is raising without a father (the child is the result of a sperm donation from a good friend).

Case two: the grandmother (about 60 years old)

The mother of the aforementioned patient came to my practice some time after her daughter. Her main complaints are a stabbing pain in the heart region radiating to the left arm and cardiovascular problems such as high blood pressure, as well as the onset of type 2 diabetes. She believes the diabetes is related to the heart problems.

When she entered the practice I saw a very beautiful, calm woman. The first thing she mentioned is that she feels her own mother (the great-grandmother in the diagram) completely claimed her during her childhood and youth.

Carrying the burden

Her father died when she was still very young, and after his death her mother burdened her with all the family and practical problems. This confused her greatly; she lost her own personality and became an extension of her mother's feelings. It was as if she were completely taken over by her mother, both mentally and emotionally. Because she now bore the burden of an adult, she was constantly tired. At the same time she loved her mother very much. Although she was already grown up when her mother died, it felt as if a heavy blanket had been lifted from her shoulders.

She had suffered from sleep disturbances for years and could think of nothing at night but her mother. When she woke in the middle of the night she had terrible headaches; her head felt like a balloon, swollen and about to burst. She felt agitated and had palpitations.

Case three: child (3 years old)

The daughter of the dance teacher is the third family member to come to the practice; she is 3 years old. She is a very pretty girl, sociable and attention-seeking. She has many friends, who mostly do what she tells them. She has invented a father for herself to compensate for the absence of a real father. She begins to cry as soon as she loses eye contact with her mother. In a very clever way she completely occupies her mother. She has a very intense manner of speaking.

During the case-taking she constantly complains of stomachaches and headaches. The stomach pains are worse in the evenings; she is only soothed when she lies on her stomach and feels the warmth when lying like that.

The mother is desperate. She cannot be physically connected to the child 24 hours a day. Thus the relationship between mother and daughter is rather stressful.

Analysis

The three cases (and the account of the great-grandmother) show striking similarities. All the women grew up without a father, or with a father who died during their early childhood. They are all gap-fillers and compensate for a gap in the family situation by developing intense possessiveness and over-connection to their parents or, conversely, to the child they care for.

Important symptoms of Latrodectus mactans in these cases are:

Stabbing pains in the heart region radiating into the left arm and fingers.

Stomach cramps.

Sensation of death or dying, accompanied by dreadful sadness and despair.

Screaming, calling out, crying.

Demanding behaviour towards loved ones, manipulative behaviour, stalking.

Over-connection with loved ones.

All feelings are very intense, both physically and emotionally.

The absence or loss of a parent can trigger or exacerbate Latrodectus mactans symptoms.

In the cases described here the main theme is over-connection: an inability to escape over-dependency, and a feeling of grief and despair that turns to anger when the connection is broken — or even when it merely seems to be broken.

This can lead to physical heart problems with palpitations and cramps that radiate to the left side of the body.

An interesting method of case analysis is to consider all the symptoms of this family as a unit. In this way we treat across generations, address the familial miasm and heal the background of this deep-seated disease with all its emotional and psychic problems.

I was only certain that I had chosen the correct simillimum after seeing all three family members.

In the mother's case I prescribed Latrodectus mactans C 220/5 (dilution C 220 from a trituration of the 5th potency) as a single dose, then a second dose one month later.

After three months her behaviour stabilised, especially towards her boyfriend.

The grandmother received Latrodectus mactans in LM 2, one dose daily for three weeks because of her high blood pressure. After three weeks the doses were reduced to twice weekly. After about six months the pains had gone and her blood pressure was under control.

I gave the girl one dose of Latrodectus mactans C 200. The stomach pains disappeared and her clingy behaviour diminished.

The problems and disorders of three generations related on different levels to a single remedy picture. The same remedy led to an improvement in the complaints of all three people and to the restoration of more normal family relationships.

Source

Latrodectus mactans, the Black Widow, is one of the most venomous spider species. The female has an hourglass shape with a characteristic black-and-red colouring. It is known that the female sometimes eats the male after mating, when the male is seduced and courted and cannot escape.

The venom acts neurotoxically. Black widow spider bites cause muscle cramps, intense abdominal pain, back pain and high blood pressure. 

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This article was published on www.interhomeopathy.org

Photo: © shutterstock - Spider, Redback or Black Widow, Latrodectus hasselti, isolated on white - Peter Waters
Latrodectus mactans; Fritz Geller-Grimm, Creative Commons Attribution- Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

Category: Cases
Keywords: manipulative, stalking, over-connection, possessive, sexual passion, trapped, victim, palpitations, heart, stomach pain, cramps, radiating, Black Widow (spider).
Remedy: Latrodectus mactans