Being trampled and rising again with a smile: a Bellis perennis case

The first time I saw the 47-year-old man, a manager of a furniture factory, was in November 2011. He seemed balanced, likeable, jovial and responsible. He speaks in an intense way and finds it difficult to respect boundaries. He finds it hard to be flexible at work in order to spend more time with his children. He also has problems dealing with lazy workers.

The first thing he reported was his sleep problems. He stays up until late evening; then he finally falls asleep but wakes after one or two hours. Then he stays awake, sometimes managing to fall asleep again towards morning. He had many sleepless nights; recently it had become — exacerbated by his relationship problems — progressively worse. He is currently living apart from his wife on a trial basis because she is unhappy in the relationship. He describes the process as traumatic and hopes the situation will calm down. He feels very connected to her. They have two small children; previously they travelled together a lot and did voluntary work in social and ecological fields. Both had been in therapy together and independently.

Before they separated, he had a lot of anxiety related to the sleep deprivation; however he had always been a poor sleeper and was sensitive to noise. Low doses of clonazepam helped a little. His initial reaction to his wife's initiative to separate was an overwhelming fear, followed by a heaviness that he could not really control, although he managed it from time to time.

The only dream he could remember at his first visit to me was a dream he had at about age seven when he was sexually abused by his uncle. The same feelings resurfaced now. That traumatic period had been full of "terrible nightmares", which he finally learned to control, but then he stopped dreaming. There was one dream where his mother "stands on a futuristic podium: I fell, spiralling down. She tried to tell me something but I could not understand what it was. I felt clean and emotionless. I could neither understand nor hear her. She was dressed in a white futuristic garment; I spun uncontrollably, it was a terrible dream."

He says: "I see it again and again throughout my life, and it causes me unpleasant feelings... I never really get to rest... my body has been on guard most of my life. I am under great tension. I am too analytical... I was very angry... I know I have bottled up a lot of anger, and the trauma I suffered was never processed. Now I am trying to work through it. It is a long process, and I hope that homeopathy will assist me."

He analyses himself: "I have locked many of my feelings inside and hold on to them, so I am not particularly communicative. Because then the anger could come out to the point where I would have no trouble expressing myself! I thought I was a loving person, I think I was... I protect myself... I close down and shut others out, and let no one get too close, otherwise I feel vulnerable. It's in my character to be on guard, ready to withdraw into myself... always on edge..."

As a child he felt unsupported about what had happened to him, neither by his mother nor by his father, who was intermittently dependent on alcohol. He says: "I became rebellious and wanted to be independent. I didn't listen to others much because I didn't get support; they wouldn't understand me, would criticise me, or whatever. That gave me a feeling of helplessness, but also of strength: 'I'll do what I want'... I was always distrustful of authority."

Recently he lost his mother to ovarian cancer, and his 79-year-old father is fighting bowel cancer.

At 14 he broke his arm twice. As he said, it was quite traumatic and led to a bone cyst. In his early twenties he dislocated his shoulder. His "controlled treatment" proved very helpful, but he still has pain and protects the shoulder. That is another obstacle to his sleep. He says: "I find it hard to let myself go to sleep. It's strange, but I'm always afraid I might dislocate my arm again if I completely relax. I don't know if that would really happen, but..."

At first I thought there were many indications for a tree remedy: the theme of control and the need for flexibility, with a heaviness behind his anxiety. He has a responsible, practical and balanced character, so I considered the order Fagales. Fraxinus is a good remedy for dislocations. He enjoys woodworking, making wooden utensils. Also Salix fragilis, the crack willow, from the order Malpighiales, came into consideration, since its proving had much to do with "splitting".

But then I thought about how often that word and various traumas occurred in his case. His need to protect himself had been expressed in his injury; his suppressed problem, his reaction to the abuse, wanting to become independent, as well as his clinging to the abuse situation: he is unable to deal with it directly. That also belongs to his nature. He strives for integrity and has by nature a strong humanitarian inclination, so I thought of the Asteraceae.

This plant family also has a great need for (or loss of) control triggered by trauma, as in his case. One can easily overstep their boundaries, or they themselves lose their boundaries, as happened to him in conversation, or when he loses control. He easily loses his temper with his children and his employees. On the other hand, his underlying helplessness and his difficulties in conflict resolution were evident. He always saw only the other's problems and viewpoint. I had the feeling — which was later confirmed — that his wife wore the trousers in their relationship negotiations and he had much understanding for a trauma she had experienced in her youth. She was very dismissive and cold during the separation phase and did not give ground at all, even when he begged her on his knees to reverse the separation.

For fun I entered 'Asteracea / Compositae' into ReferenceWorks along with 'sexual abuse'. Bellis perennis, the common daisy, was the only Compositae in the sense of the spagyric provings by L. Deacon and A. Ribot-Smith. Rajan Sankaran placed it in the cancer miasm, and through Clarke it became famous as a remedy for tumours resulting from blows to soft tissues, such as breasts or abdomen. In this case there is a strong family history of cancer, including bowel and ovaries, which also belong to Bellis's sphere of action.

He has the 'overburdening' of stage 12, but also the 'adaptability' of stage 2. Overall I would, however, say it is stage 12. Clarke says: "The daisy is a flower which is repeatedly trodden on and then rises again smiling. Its name 'day's eye' may be a sign of its prematurely awakened tendencies. Perhaps this is a main issue of the daisy. The theme runs through the whole case."

During the monthly follow-ups he usually received a repetition in a C 200 or 1M. It was clear that the patient was working on processing his trauma. In the first follow-up he reported that he mourned his mother's death deeply, although he had thought he had already done that. After years with few remembered dreams he began to dream vividly again. He was more motivated to clear out things he didn't need and became more aware of what he wanted. He began to work more with wood because he wanted to do more with his hands.

His dreams clearly showed his underlying feelings. In one dream he had to play a role he could not identify with at all. The next night he dreamed of his abuse. It was a very real and vivid dream, as if it had continued into his adult life, and he felt very threatened. He then had another dream where he was in Africa and had to fix his mother-in-law's decrepit, virtually uninhabitable house. It had not been his decision to go there, but he would get through it and make the best of it.

After his second visit to me his shoulder improved dramatically, as did the other shoulder he had not even mentioned. He had had the problems since his early twenties. He can now see more clearly that his wife behaves very harshly towards him. He suggested a time limit by which they should reach a new agreement. He is giving her space and showing that he is not pressuring her. He has relaxed and sleeps somewhat better. He feels he must face his abuse history directly, perhaps by confronting the perpetrator, but the outcome is still uncertain.

The most striking thing at his third appointment with me was that he had been involved in a bicycle accident. He says: "... such terrible things happen when one is not on guard: I went head over heels onto my shoulder and head and was a bit dazed. I injured my left shoulder a little, but I was very lucky; I landed on my face but my woollen winter hat took most of it." He also had a stiff neck.

He dreamed that he and his daughter were attacked on a canoe trip. He felt there was no safe place to land. He travelled to Whistler, British Columbia (1), which he had always dreamed of; he wanted to treat himself. He is fed up with the on-again-off-again situation with his wife because she sends unclear messages. He has tentatively taken off his wedding ring; she no longer wears hers.

He had a few positive encounters with other women and says: "If she feels she is not my soulmate, then perhaps that is so."

He joined a men's group for victims of sexual abuse. He says: "I no longer carry the guilt and shame I have borne because of this secrecy for 40 years. I have put some things right for myself... when you are seven years old you are innocent, yet I still felt guilty."

At his next visit he said he had recovered well from the injuries sustained in the bicycle accident. He had fallen a few times while skiing in the Whistler ski area but had not been injured.

A friend's child fell and was injured. He was very affected and remembered nights when his own child had suffered serious injuries, and how awful that had been for him. His men's group focuses on unresolved traumas from sexual abuse. They also looked at a programme showing how neuroplasticity helped in PTSD (2).

A woman hit on him, but he did not respond. She asked him flat out whether he still loved his wife. He said that he probably did. On the other hand, he has not thought so much about the separation in the past month. He now knows that he has as much power as she does to dissolve the marriage.

He says: "I don't feel guilty going to bed when I want, without the children; even when they're with me I don't feel guilty. That would have been impossible before. I listen more to my inner voice. You must do what you feel; sometimes there are things that need to be done."

He says: "I have become calmer; I no longer react as explosively as before. When I feel anxiety coming, I pay more attention to how it manifests."

He treats his children more mindfully when they have to get to school in the morning. He is no longer so aggressive with employees who do not work properly, but he lets them know that it bothers him. He felt pressured by one employee. Eventually he fired her and felt good about it. He had been too lenient, and now felt liberated from the negative energy she had brought to the department. He hired two new staff and is convinced he made a good decision.

Throughout the therapy his development in this direction continued, as reflected in his dreams and further events in his life. He no longer suffers from the "Sunday anxiety" he had had for years. He can now enjoy the weekend more, and his children are much more relaxed too.

He had an open discussion with his boss about what bothered him at work. His sleep improved further, and he can communicate more easily with his wife and other people. He is now going through with the divorce and realises what his own needs are, and that his (ex-) wife needs more independence. He has met a woman he really loves and is trying to temper his enthusiasm a little. He thought he had no time to meet new people, but she simply appeared.

He has found a new perspective for himself and his wife. He says he no longer wants limitations. She had manipulated him for a long time, and perhaps he overstepped her boundaries out of desire, but everyone does that.

In summary there was a real change in that he resolved much of his trauma; his need for protection has decreased, his wounds have healed, he is more integrated and can control himself better. He no longer allows himself to be trodden on.

Category: Remedies
Keywords: trauma, injury, sexual abuse, anxiety, guarding, boundaries, self, cancer miasm
Remedy: Bellis perennis