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SPECTRUM OF HOMEOPATHY
Bénédicte Echard
¦ Dendroaspis polylepis
34
REPTILES
Childhood:
“My father was super-present and very strict; he
was really violent. He used to hit my head against the beams,
he was really humiliating. He had big hands and I felt like a
mosquito, but I learned the values of life. I am very close to my
father and my mother, the people who have hurt me. I allow
myself to do things to people I love. I love this violence. I don’t
like to hit my girlfriend but I do have this sexual violence.
“When I feel like smashing things, to send someone packing, I
blast people to bits with my big mouth. For example, there is a
clothes shop where people show off. I look for the owner and
I tell him that his store is a rotten hole. I find him straightaway
and I blast straight into him, I destroy him. At the same time I
apologise to my friends and say that I can’t help demolishing
him.
“An example in the car: I pass a truck and he makes an obscene
gesture to me and rides my bumper. I go behind him and follow
him for 40 kilometres. When he stops, I stand straight in front
of him and say ‘OK, are we going to fight? Who sucks who?’
I obviously have the upper hand, I am vulgar and I don’t hold
back. I push him and say, ‘That’s not civilized of you, it’s not
nice, mister.’ (
Gesture: threatening fist.
) But I don’t lynch him.
I really have problems with people who don’t respect others,
who are rude.”
What do you feel when you are faced with rudeness?
“I feel humiliated, insulted; like a piece of shit. As though I
don’t exist. They take away who I am. I feel non-existent and
at the same time like a shining knight. I will teach them to be
more polite. If I did what I feel, I would be doing that 17 times
a day. I can’t stand impoliteness, that is central to my education.
Straightforward. (Hand gesture: a line straight up and down). To
have integrity, to be socially correct. I am inflexible in my edu-
cation. If you break a rule, there would be no reason to respect
anything anymore. I am too honest; I am very black and white.
“I can shout at people for nothing; For instance, a music label
who misuses the artists – they lie to people. That can make me
furious. I could take a weapon and smash their face. Nothing
works for those people except physical violence.
“I feel like I am right. Two words from the other and it is black-
out. I go from white to black; evil takes over and I can’t control
it. Afterwards, I wish I hadn’t done it, I stay at home and I don’t
go out. I isolate myself. I ruminate and horrible thoughts come
up. I don’t have any social life because I fight with people.
“At moments like that I have absolutely no self-confidence. I am
afraid of others, I feel like I am being badly judged. As though
I have had a Ferrari and it has lost a wheel. Someone has to
carry me; I’ve got no retort. Then, I close down completely.”
(Gesture, folds himself in his arms.)
“I feel small, I roll up in a
ball. I chew on that feeling, as though it is rotten flesh. A whole
lot of disgusting shit. It is a wound and I cut my arms. I’m like
a ball of black wool, a tangle of blackness. I am a shit. I feel
attacked in my integrity.”
Describe this state. You say, “little ball, a wound, attacked”.
Concentrate on that, connect with this gesture and tell me
what comes up.
“It is a knife that makes a lot of little wounds. It slices up part
of my body, my head. It is the slices, the cuts in all directions, in
my body, millions of little wounds. Every piece of meat is open
and gets another slash, it is one gaping wound.”
(On allowing himself to go into the sensation as closely as pos-
sible, the duality appears clearly, which is typical of the animal
kingdom.)
“It’s him who hacks me to bits, it is his fault. He does it with a
sordid smile, amused. Like pulling the wings off a fly, it really
pleases him; it gives him power, he feels alive. He drains my
energy. He feels powerful and he holds me, I become a pup-
pet. He strangles me, as though he has his heart in my hand.”
(Gesture: he holds something in his hand.)
Comment on the theme of victim-offender:
At this mo-
ment of the consultation, a sort of reverse situation takes place.
There is a total confusion between the two poles, victim and
aggressor. One does not know anymore who talks and who is
being talked about.
Tell me about this gesture, put all your attention in your
hand and tell me what comes up?
“I am really small, he is really big. He is in my head. I have the
feeling of being a puppet. I feel a lot of evil coming from him,
the desire to hurt someone, to make them suffer. He does
nothing but torture. He strangles my heart. He goes right to
the limit, just before it explodes. He grins, it amuses him. He
has the power because he is in control. He takes the power by
breaking my confidence. I am schizo, he destroys.”
Tell me how this affects you.
“I have no more control. I am weak, passive. It isolates me. The
whole outside world is aggressive, even the cat. Judgement
makes me feel tiny, not up to the plot, false. I can’t look people
in the eye anymore. I feel like I’m a hypocrite, uninteresting, not
straight forward, I have no integrity. When I don’t get any love,
I feel empty, I don’t have a soul, I am ashamed. I just pretend.”
What is the experience of being “straightforward”?
“Straight
(hand gesture)
, in line with oneself and with others.
Honest. You say what you think, the right word. It does not bring
one’s sense of integrity into doubt. Sometimes you say ‘good day’,
and you have the impression of lying, you get ill at ease because
you are not being true, you are not radiating something peaceful
and harmonious. You are empty, uninteresting, not in your place.”
Tell me more about this experience of being “straight-
forward” and this hand gesture.
“It is like having a Ferrari in your hands, it goes fast, and you
are one of the beautiful ones, owning a luxury product. You
are part of the elite; it’s good for the ego. Like having a high
IQ. I am intelligent. I go 280 km/hour, I’m fast. I am there,
completely myself. A tree, a pillar solid and stable, anchored.
True, interesting. There is no more ‘I am going to destroy you,
destroy myself,’ no more chaos. And no more KO!