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SPECTRUM OF HOMEOPATHY
ANGELIKA BOLTE AND JÖRG WICHMANN
¦ NATRIUM NITRICUM
68
THIRD ROW OF THE PERIODIC TABLE ¦
SILICIUM SERIES
my husband said: nope, it can’t go on like this – you need to
see a doctor. (She then describes the medical history, the diag
nosis, and her medication.) It only helped for three months
then there was another acute episode. Finally they just gave
me immunosuppressants. But that didn’t agree with my liver.
So I stopped everything.” Then she tried a series of alternative
approaches from acupuncture to nutritional interventions but
nothing worked for long.
Symptoms:
”When I’m feeling really bad, I need to go to the
toilet up to twenty times a day – in the morning alone four to
six times. I always think it’s like what I ate the day before trying
to get out during the night. I can’t sleep long with that. There’s
a lot of air and the consistency is very variable: slimy, watery,
lumpy. At the moment bloody again but it’s not always like
that. (…) Sometimes with the air there’s a load of water. Like
a cow or something. (…) In the evening it’s a bit better. Then I
have half an hour to find a toilet. In the morning I sometimes
hardly make it to the toilet even though it’s right next door – it’s
so urgent to get out. Then I have to run, like an explosion.”
Being like the others:
The worse thing about it? “Being dif-
ferent, noticeable. I want to be like everybody else. I don’t want
to have to go to the toilet more often than the others. They all
look at me, staring.” So what is it like, then, being different?
“I don’t want that, don’t want to stand out. I’d rather go with
the flow. I want to have what everyone else has. I want to be
like the others.” What does that mean? “Blending in – that’s
what I like, being low-key. But having said that, it occurs to me
that I also like being in company, talking loudly and cracking
jokes. Tomorrow I’m going to a karaoke bar for the first time.
There you have to go up on stage. As long as I can choose to
stand out, that’s OK for me. But I didn’t choose my illness so I
don’t want to stand out with that. I only want to stand out in
a nice way – if I come out with diarrhoea, it’s unpleasant. So
I’d rather take a back seat – for example, not go to an event
when it’s acute.”
Determined by diarrhoea:
What’s that like as a physical
feeling? “I get panicky, hoping nothing will go wrong, that
I don’t do it in my pants. (…) Restricted – that my freedom
is limited, the freedom to say: I’ll get up and then first I’ll go
jogging. That’s how it used to be. I feel I’m defined by the
diarrhoea. You get up and the first thing is you have to go
to the toilet. That disturbs me for a start. I’m forced to go to
the toilet. That’s what disturbs me most, that I can no longer
determine what I do when I get up.” What’s that like? “Bad.
Dreadful. Then I think how it used to be in the past. At that
time you didn’t value it, how nice that was. (…) My style would
be freer. I’ve got used to it now. It’s like a necessity – before
I leave the house, I always sit on the toilet and massage the
intestine so that everything that’s in there comes out. Then I
gain some time. (…) What’s excruciating is always being tied
to the toilet. It doesn’t matter where or which one – I’ll even
do it in the woods. But I have to empty myself. I’d love it to
be like it used to be – once a morning getting rid of my food.
I don’t want to have to think about toilets. Toilets, diarrhoea,
that determines my life!”
I can’t let go:
“In terms of things, I’m a hoarder. I only throw
away the minimum. I can’t easily let go. I still have things from
my childhood, including my daughter’s baby things. I can’t give
away or donate what’s important to me. I’m very attached to
the past. I’m afraid I will forget the good times and experiences.
“I’ve never been alone, also as a child. My brothers and sisters
were always there. Even if my parents were away. I’d never
have wanted to be alone but then I never had to be. I’ve always
clung to my girlfriends. I’ve always had one. They’ve changed
but I still keep in touch with them. As a child and a teenager I
always had one really good best friend. Vacations, celebrations
– all shared and discussed together. It all fits with always having
one, and constantly.”
I copy my girlfriends:
“At that time I left my parent’s home to
move straight in with my husband so I was never really alone
in life. That’s the kind of person I am – I’m quick to copy my
girlfriends, want to be like them, have that, do that, like they
do. If I had to describe myself, there are a thousand things I
could say. But if I’m really that, I don’t really know.
“When I was a child and teenager, I always had a special friend.
I did everything with her and I always wanted to be like her. If
she wore her hair short, so did I. When she got a new top, I
wanted it too. Then she had a steady boyfriend, me too. Then
she got rid of him and I wanted to get rid of mine too. And
later with the kids, she fed her baby in the morning and every
three hours, and I did exactly the same. So I asked, what time
do you do it? One, she said, I do it at one o’clock. So I also did
it at one.” Why? “It makes me feel safe. It gives me security!
(…) It was only later that I began to think: in fact you’ve never
done anything of your own, you’ve never listened to your own
inner voice.
“Last year my youngest daughter went on a school trip. Well
before she went, I thought of all the things I could do. But you
won’t believe it; I just sat there all day long, staring ahead. I
couldn’t get started with anything. And when she got back?
Then I was really happy and got back into the routine straighta-
way. I was also pleased that I was back in with the family. That
makes me feel more contented.”
Analysis:
So that is the abridged personal experience of this pa-
tient from the casetaking. She has episodes of ulcerative colitis
that are particularly bad in the morning and which completely
dominate her daily routine by forcing her to stick to a rigid
schedule. There are no useful modalities for analysis here – that
is, modalities that we can look up in the repertory. Diarrhoea in
the morning brings up 170 remedies, painless diarrhoea 120,